Nobody cares, move along

A couple of months ago I had an interesting (I use that word loosely) experience during a tournament with one of my playing partners. He was having a nightmare round, and what followed was the most extreme case of excuse-making I had ever seen.

“I’ve never played this badly before. I’m a great golfer; I usually make 5-6 birdies every round!”

By the 15th hole, this was about the 100th variation of this statement I had heard. I nodded, told him I had been there before myself, and tried to go back to worrying about my own game. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that if he really made 5-6 birdies a round, he’d be the best PGA Tour player. But I was too fatigued by him to talk any more.